I bought myself a lemonade

Words for me, words for us, and many other words to come

Courage (n.)
“mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty”

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“Is that lemonade?”
“You said you were getting coffee!”
“Want a sip! Drink!” 

Like happy sugar ants savoring fresh watermelon slices, my kids surround me. We’re enjoying a sunshiney afternoon of bright blue skies and sparse but puffy clouds. This week has been an exhausting overlap of events and obligations, and the fresh air is exactly what we need. Immersing ourselves in light and wind, soaking in nature without walls.

Ten wide eyes follow me as I take a long sip of my strawberry lemonade. Five hopeful grins, eager for a taste. It’s no longer just my lemonade; it becomes ours to enjoy together.

The moment I hit publish, these words become ours too, you know? Yours and mine. Whether you agree, disagree, comment, or simply unsubscribe (which is 100% fine — no hard feelings!) — these words are no longer safely on my computer. They’re alive to the world. 

I send them each month with courage and a whole lot of trembling. 

Every author I know has moments of “imposter syndrome,” the anguish of wondering whether he or she is a true writer. In the doldrums of insecurity and burnout — beneath the threat of imposter syndrome — I have to remember why I’m here: what journey brought me to this space and what keeps me going. 

I write to become more alive.

Journaling reminds me to feel. To celebrate, process, and pray with longing. I string together thoughts, the loops of cursive giving boundaries to chaos. 

Emailing throws my curiosity into the world, toward those (like you?) who are as wonder-pricked and weary as I am. My small light shining in the darkness. 

Novel-writing honors ten-year-old me and all the kids like me — because I want to live in a world that invites children into curiosity, messiness, wonder, and safety. I hope my novels one day become ours; I’m eager for you and your families to read the worlds I’m creating. 

Creating takes courage — as do so many worthy things. Sitting still, reaching out, asking for help, giving space to question. 

I hope courage becomes our word. I’ll share it with you; you give it to your kids; they pass it along to their friends.

I hope something you read gives you a spark, a salve, a laugh, or a seed of permission. Even a moment of “hmmmm, I wonder…” 

In the afternoon sunshine, it doesn’t take long before our lemonade is emptied with a final, satisfied slurp. But no one takes the last taste of courage. It’s endless and abounding, if we’ll let it grow. 

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Where do you feel courageous today? This year? This decade or season? Who inspires you to bravery?

Let’s spread courage and let our curiosity bring life. 

Warmly,
Rachael

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Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series “Ours.”